day 85: practicing gratitude

first of all, the stats from the last few days. (google reader people, i hear you can't see these, so hop on the real website if you want to see them! they're kind of awesome charts):









second of all:

on my run tonight, i just kept thinking about what a different person i am from the beginning of this summer. sure, i went crazy for at least a month or two, almost destroyed my body a little by pushing way too hard, didn't eat enough etc. etc., but i'm so proud of all that i've accomplished.

i don't know, maybe proud isn't the right word. maybe it's gratitude?

i can see my collarbones, i discovered that i have a dimple! one! on my left side, nothing on the right. which...i don't know if i just wasn't fit enough to notice it before or what but it's definitely new. i sleep better, i'm always eating better even when i'm eating horribly and amidst lots of stress and change i am cool as a cucumber because i feel so grounded.

i really and truly believe in the power of exercise to change people, to change the way we see ourselves, to edit in our minds the limitations we think we have, the problems we see ourselves needing to work on.

until now, exercise has been something that's been mostly bad for me. it's been obsessive, unrewarding, unrelenting and unforgiving. it's been the thing that makes a bad day worse, that perpetuates a bad self belief, that causes me to go even further inside myself when i don't feel like crawling out.

and this summer, yes, of course i had to get kind of obsessive about it and yes maybe i still am a little bit, but even if i'm not the fittest i've ever been, i'm definitely the healthiest i've ever been.

over and over and over this last month, i've been able to see so much goodness around me. my friends cheering me along, supporting me and one another even when it's difficult, my family coming together in ways i didn't expect. and at work, where things have been changing a lot, i've seen people go to bat for me again and again with the kind of confidence that i've never been able to recognize in others, let alone feel for myself.

tonight as my feet pounded the pavement, i was slow and dehydrated and hadn't given myself enough time to digest dinner, but i was so happy because it was time that i got to myself by myself, time to recognize all of the things that are blooming around me.

and all of the work i've put into this, all of the constant effort and trusting and asking and hoping, all of that energy was, i swear to god, only there because i was running again, because i saw myself getting faster and stronger in a way i never could at school because i wasn't actually allowing myself to train like people do. i was a slave driver to my body back then, and all i needed to do was give myself a break.

i just needed to keep running.

so i am. and i'll be running a 10k in a little over four weeks. so i'm going to try to keep up with the blogging, at least to post exercise. i think i might post what i eat, too, although i'm not sure i'll have time to count calories and all that again. at least not out loud?

thank you all for a wonderful, beautiful, happy summer. i promise i'll be less sappy next time. kthxbye.

<3,
a

day 78: i'm still alive!

just ridiculously busy, and this time not entirely or even mostly with exercise. which is good, i'm growing.

i'll update when i can!

day 75: thinking

i think i've decided not to blog about food until i have a little more time. i mean, i'm eating fairly well and not too much or too little, but i just don't want to take the time to write down the nutritional value and all that right now. that's fair, right?

in other news, i'm about to get into my third week of training. god i love running.

day 74: running buddies

so i'm signed up for a 10k in mid-september and a half marathon at the end of october. last night, i went on a run with katelyn, one of my best friends from college that i haven't gotten to see much over the last year. it was wonderful. we decided to run together more often now that she lives up here. SO pumped.

i will start blogging about food again tomorrow, or will try. we'll see how far i get. trying to find a balance in life again between work, exercise, eating/cooking and friends. oh, and alone time when i do nothing. i need a lot more of that lately.

day 70: still doing it

okay. so i'm giving myself until sunday (post grocery shopping...?) to start blogging about food.

meanwhile, i rowed this morning with my HRM. but then i left it at work...and thus didn't use it for the interval run/warm-up/core exercises i just did. oh well.

one of these days i'm going to try to write some more. but i'm basically feeling pretty good, feeling actually just more like myself than i have in a couple weeks, and i'm remembering why i love running so much.

in the meantime, if any of ya'll have suggestions on running music, do tell.

<3,
a

day 69: 10k training begins again

okay, guys. i'm like, way too lazy to blog about food today or to write the long post i wrote in my head while running. but the deal is that i'm back in full force and loving, loving, loving it.

day 68: i'm back!

yes, i'm counting from where i left off, because i feel like these last couple of weeks haven't really counted. but it's time to get back on track and start focusing again.

1) i'm selling my bike. i think i posted a little about this, but basically my bike is a pain and needs to be adjusted every five minutes, and it's not worth the time or money to me this summer. i'm going to use part of next year's tax return (whoo miranda!) to buy myself a bike. and in the meantime it's okay, because i'm outside lots anyway.

2) i just got back from the boundary waters, a national wilderness area bordering minnesota and canada. it was incredible. i camped out with two lovely friends i didn't know that well before the trip, and i'm so, so glad i went. i really, truly unplugged and i'm so grateful for that, and to be glad to be back home.

3) i'm going to try and add in some strength moves for running! i have an "active warm-up" to do before each run, and after if i have time, an all-over workout to do twice a week and a core workout to do three times a week.

4) this week commences training for my second 10k! whoo! i haven't run in almost two weeks, though, which is terrifying. i'm going to get back into it by jumping in with a 20-30 minute easy run tomorrow evening. i'm pretty excited.

5) i'm starting to grocery shop way differently, and i'm going to try to cook more efficiently, and to make sure that cooking is always enjoyable and never truly stressful. i'm pretty excited.

6) i'm feeling generally really wonderful and grateful for all of the love i'm constantly surrounded by. thanks for being awesome, people.

see you tomorrow.

<3,
a