day 67: rowing

it rained today, which meant not getting out on the water, which sucked. instead, we did a bootcamp workout and a bunch of stuff on the ergs (the stationary machines that you see in gyms). it was awesome and i'm excited to be sore tomorrow.

i'm feeling good about the prospect of feeling on track again. i haven't been eating all that well and i'm noticing a significant drop in my energy, which normally happens every few months. it's extreme, though! i usually limit myself to a cup of coffee a day and i've had about four since 6:30pm and am drop dead exhausted now, six hours after the first cup and almost three after the fourth. i feel like that's not that normal? but oh well.

in any case, i'm gonna get back on it as soon as i can. srsly. it's happening.

day 66: i couldn't stay away, i couldn't fight it

i just registered for a 10k (running with egluck) on september 17 and a half marathon on october 29.

i'm gonna have to figure out a plan to focus on this running thing. i might have to drop biking, which i think i'm okay with since it turns out my bike sucks. i'm looking into whether i want to do this.

in other words, i SCULLED last night! (rowed with two oars.) in a "double," a boat with one other person and it happened to be someone on the the team that i really love rowing with. WONDERFUL. best rowing experience yet, probably. i can't wait to do an early morning practice with sculling...

speaking of which i have rowing at 9. thank god they changed it from 8. but i have to cox, which means zero workout. not excited.

day 64: giving myself permission

so, i haven't written in what feels like 18 years. i was really busy, and then i was at liz's cabin with the three best friends. totally worth it. also, the heat index here has been between 111-116 degrees for a few days.

although i've kept up rowing and i even went on a 75 minute run in the heat on sunday, i feel like i'm falling out of shape! and i feel like i'm not being nearly as conscious of what i'm eating. but a week from yesterday, i'm leaving for the boundary waters for five days. and until then i'm losing every ounce of work-life balance i have going for me.

while i very strongly believe in keeping a consistent exercise routine, i don't think i can uphold my running schedule perfectly over the next week and a half. when i get back from the boundary waters, i plan to jump back on the blogging train and start keeping track of exercise/food again.

but until then, i'm giving myself permission to take a 12-day break. and i'll be back on august 1.

i'd love to hear all of your thoughts on this! advice? words of encouragement? eh? EH?

<3,
a

day 59: restored, maybe

my work day today was a reminder of why i work where i do. what a great day. what a great reward for working so hard.

i feel like i'm falling off the wagon a little bit again with this blog and with the whole concept of it. and i'd love, love, love your encouragement to keep writing, to keep running, rowing, biking and living like i want to live.

on sunday, i'm going up to liz's cabin with emily and laura and i cannot wait. the four of us haven't been together in almost exactly a year, and GAH i can't explain how much i miss it!

then, in a couple of weekends, i'm going on a boundary waters trip with another friend. i'm SO EXCITED! i'm so, so grateful that she invited me and i can't wait to tell you all about it. i've never been and it's going to be a great way to use some PTO and to take a really good breather from the world. seriously.

i'm posting my exercise for the day, but i don't have the energy to go back and finish my food blog from yesterday or to write out the one from today. i've stayed about within my calorie limits, but maybe haven't balanced things as nicely as i hope to one day....??

anyway, again. i would really, really appreciate the help.

oh, and THANK YOU RACHEL for inspiring me to go running at 10pm on a friday. i really, really needed it and it was a great run. so thanks.

exercise
 

day 58: blergh two

how was my last long weekend only a week and a half ago?

this is another day at work where i've had enough stress, at 1pm, to last me through years. so i'm taking a break to re-center myself. i work really well under pressure, but not well at all when frazzled.

i didn't bike in this morning because i was feeling really tired last night and because i didn't get around to buying grease for my bike chain. i feel like it's okay, though.

here's what i'm establishing for my goals. if i achieve all of them in any given week, i am staying in shape:

a) a net of around 1,700-1,800 calories a day
b) bike to work once
c) do all of the running workouts according to my half-marathon plan (usually 3-4 days)
d) row twice
e) 8 hours of sleep most nights

it's going to take a little convincing to feel like this is actually real. i'm pretty hard on myself, if you haven't noticed, and i feel like i'm failing this week even though i've already rowed twice, run once and biked in once. and i've been trying to listen to my body, which is obviously not pleased lately.

why am i so nauseated this morning!? oh yeah, probably all the stress.

sleep
7.5 hours

food
i missed breakfast, which is awesome.
"fried" rice: 450c, 24f, 26.5p, 41b, 2s

exercise
net goal: 3,667

day 57: blergh

i'm stressed today. because:

a) last night, i fell asleep after my last blog update (around 7:30pm) and didn't wake up until 5am. i still have a headache. i feel like this is a glasses issue.

b) i'm feeling a little bit broke from rowing and other things, and last night i found out my bike is a piece of crap. surprise surprise! i should probably invest in a new one. maybe i'll ride this one out for the season and buy a new one next year? it's squealy, one of the brakes on the front wheel is picky, and the bike people did all they could for free. i feel like i need to buy a bike from them...they're friends of the guy at the first place, but they rebuild their bikes from scratch. anyway, don't exactly have the money for it at the moment...but also don't want to stop riding.

c) work.

d) that nausea thing. that's concerning.

e) did i mention the glasses thing? i used to have reading glasses when this happened before, and i had to get them because i had 20/20 but weak eyes, which means they get tired. how pathetic.

f) i have to eat a lot to make up for not eating at all yesterday evening.

but you know what? i'm putting on a happy face, or trying to. i discovered gojee.com which has gotten me through the periods of my brain feeling like it's going to break today. go check it out! it's the coolest thing ever. you can put in what ingredients you have around the house and what you want and it will spit out recipes that use some/all of them and include stuff you're craving. perfection. especially when i'm feeling broke.

and i'm going to go for a run when i get home, and it's going to be lovely.

sleep
9.5 hours

food
omlette: 275c, 16f, 14p, 20b, 0s
two pieces toast: 140c, 2f, 6p, 22b, 4s
fried rice: 450c, 24f, 26.5p, 41b, 2s
chips: 140c, 7f, 2p, 18b, 0s
tomato pie (a lot of tomato pie): 1298.5c, 47.25f, 45.5p, 127b, ?s
1c chocolate milk: 150c, 2.5fa, 9p, 25b, 22s
1c strawberries: 50c, 0f, 1p, 12b, 7s

= 2500c, 95f, 104p, 265b, 35s

34% fat, 17% protein, 42% carbs, 6% sugar

....not awful?

exercise
i coxed during rowing and thus did not burn real calories.

running: 45 minutes, 6 of them at high intensity.

the heart rate zone thing is still tricky, and it's making me run much slower (for now), but i'm confident that it will be a good thing for me in the long run (no pun intended).


net goal: 3,840c
net: 1,973c
tomorrow's net goal (still making up for a few days ago): 3,667c

grateful
for a new perspective on what success is.

day 56: this headache thing is becoming a problem

as in, my skull might actually explode. right now. onto this keyboard and monitor. and onto my boss. oopsies.

so, due to the sewing fiasco last night, i have to run tonight. i also biked to work today and (obviously) have yet to bike home. i think i'm out of biking shape, or at least biking-to-work shape, as miranda called it today. which makes me sound better, so i like it.

why do i feel so out of shape lately!? i've been getting more sleep this week, or at least thinking about getting more sleep, so that's probably a good thing, but the actual sleep thing should also happen. i'm guessing that i'll get home tonight by 7, rest (i.e. cook) until 7:30, run until 8:30, eat and hop into bed. and then wake up for rowing tomorrow. whoo! if i have to row bow again, though, i'm tipping that boat over. watch me.

**update**
at the beginning of my ride home, i got super nauseated and have been ever since. i'm adequately hydrated, it's not unreasonably hot and i've eaten a lot already today. what is the deal!? if anyone has any ideas, please let me know. for tonight, it means i'm not running (i don't think i can/should), and i'm annoyed. really annoyed.


sleep
another 6.5 hour night. boo.

food (calories, fat, protein, carbs, sugar)
vanilla wafers (i'm weak..i was making cheesecake this morning..): 130c, 3.5f, 2p, 25b, 11s
omlette: 275c, 16f, 14p, 20b, 0s
toast: 70c, 1f, 3p, 11b, 2s
fried rice: 450c, 24f, 26.5p, 41b, 2s
chips: 140c, 7f, 2p, 18b, 0s
salsa: 20c, 0f, 0p, 4b, 0s
greek yogurt: 150c, 0f, 14p, 22b, 21s

=1235c, 48f, 59.5p, 116b, 25s

exercise
biked to and from work. i forgot to turn the HRM on on my way home, so i'm going to use the calorie count i had last time i did this which was about 1,475. 



net: -240. which means that tomorrow i need to have a net of 3,840. yikes. i guess i'll spread that out over a few days.

day 55: i'm back! and sleeping.

hello, friends! it feels like 100 days since i've written. so let's get back on track here.

(and by let's, i mean, i will.)

i made a schedule for myself this week. it involves something that's very new to me: sleep! last night was a minor catastrophe since i was still cooking (poor planning) when i was supposed to be in bed and then couldn't fall asleep, but i'm confident that some melatonin will do the trick tonight. plus a really long day.

my weekend was lovely and involved a minor-major hermitage for a day and a half. and by hermitage i mean i barely left the apartment, besides the 10k, my voice lesson and an apartment viewing. but yesterday i left for almost the whole day, went to the farmer's market, got sunburned at the beach with friends (yay raccoon eyes) and went to happy hour. wonderful. even though it was probably awful for my waistline, but whatever! i biked there!

rowing this morning was really wonderful, despite rowing bow. i hate rowing bow because it feels like bow seat gets the brunt of any unbalancing of the boat which, in novice, happens constantly. so either my oar was 6 feet under the water or 10 feet above it (this is a gross exaggeration, of course). but i started to get better at feathering, did some backing (rowing backwards to help turn the boat where you push the oar...perfection) and wore my heart rate monitor, which was great except that i forgot to turn off the running setting...so it didn't really track my activity all that well. my bad.

also, i'm trying to eat more regularly this week. which means i spent too much money on food, by about $15. bummer. but what are you gonna do when you have to eat a bazillion calories a day. (weird, the webform didn't say "bazillion" wasn't a word....)

**update**
realized i had a sewing class i thought i'd never signed up for and just put in my calendar...so i went this evening and it was really fun! but as a consequence i didn't cook real dinner for the week, and i'm pushing my run to tomorrow (which would otherwise be an "off" day). this making sleep a priority thing is confusing.

food (cal, fat, protein, carbohydrates, s)
omlette: 275c, 16f, 14p, 20b, 0s
toast: 70c, 1f, 3p, 11b, 2s
homemade chicken "fried" rice: 450c, 24f, 26.5p, 41b, 2s
chips: 140c, 7f, 2p, 18b, 0s
4 tbsp salsa: 20c, 0f, 0p, 4b, 0s
2 hardboiled eggs: 125c, 8f, 12p, 0b, 0s
greek yogurt: 150c, 0f, 14p, 22b, 21s
sandwich bread: 140c, 2f, 3p, 11b, 2s
1 tbsp peanut butter: 94c, 8f, 4p, 3b, 1.5s
1 tbsp jam: 30c, 0f, 0p, 8b, 7s
2 stuffed tomatos: 400c, 30f, 28p, 25b, ?s
total: 1894c, 98f, 120.5p, 163b, 35.5s

46.6% fat, 25.4% protein, 34.4% carbs, 7.4% simple carbs

so...less fat, more carbs. which will happen.

sleep
6.5 hours, but i was in bed for almost 8. i'm getting better.

exercise
rowing: estimating about 200c since i messed up my heart rate monitor for the workout.

net: 1694c.

day 53: my first 10k

56:20. it was posted as 56:25 but that's only because the girl in front of me started walking between the timer and the women who were taking the tabs off our numbers (to determine our time). so, definitely not what i wanted to do, but also not terrible. i think i was just kind of aiming high.

as for eating today, it's going to be more carbs! yay! and i'm probably going to sort of eat what i want, within reason. so...pretty much what you're not supposed to do. i will get back on track.

in other news i've planned out my meals for the week and i'm feeling pretty good about them so far. although it was a pain to try and find a good fat/protein/carb balance, as i suspected..

day 52: i'm going to kick some serious butt tomorrow

i didn't bike in today because the 10k is tomorrow!

also because i got a little bit of heat exhaustion last night. at least that's what i think it was? i need to start carrying coconut water in addition to normal water with me. it has a lot of electrolytes and a ridiculous amount of potassium = perfect refueler. even though i think it's disgusting. seriously disgusting.

[anyone wanna buy me a fuel belt!?]

yeah, so last night. i got home, was starving and didn't have much food in the house, so i started to look up a recipe and fell asleep on the couch. two hours later, i woke up, realized the co-op was closing soon and i needed to get some food in my body. but i was really nauseated and had to coax myself up and out the door. as soon as i had some coconut water (and yes, i drank a bunch of normal water before that), i felt way better. and then eating. but i forget how hard it is to ingest that many calories. it's probably not a good thing that i ate a whole container of frozen yogurt (with live active cultures!) as part of that, but whatever. at least it was yogurt and not ice cream? and you try eating 3,200 calories of decently healthy food a day! it's tough.

also, i decided i'm going to start making my life harder by trying to track the percentage of calories that come from fat, protein and carbs. this is going to take a lot of time, but i'm going to try it at least for a month. after that, hopefully i'll start to learn how to eat like an athlete. maybe by then i'll be one!

according to a bunch of websites for runners, i should be getting 60% of my calories from carbohydrates (less than 10% from simple carbs like sugar, honey, fruit and dairy products. one easy, and thus slightly inaccurate, way of calculating this is to take the total number of carbohydrates and subtract the amount of sugar to get the amount of complex carbs in something). i should then get 25% of my calories from fat (this is usually listed on the label) and 15% from protein. grams of carbs and protein contain about 4 calories each, and each gram of fat has about 9 calories. this is going to be a lot of work.

for practice, i'm going to try to do this for yesterday:

yesterday's food (with cal, fat, protein, carbs, sugar)
1c grape juice: 160c, 0fa, 1p, 32ch, 31s
breakfast burrito: 250c, 7fa, 9p, 38ch, 4s
chicken rice thing: 350c, 13fa, 17p, 41ch, 5s
southwestern burrito: 300c, 10fa, 12p, 43ch, 2s
two peaches: 140c, 0fa, 4p, 34ch, 30s
coconut water: 75c, 0fa, 1p,18.5ch, 16.5s
mushroom tortelloni: 600c, 6fa, 20p, 114ch, 4s
2c cherries: 170c, 0fa, 2p, 44ch, 36s
frozen yogurt: 720c, 8fa, 28p, 68ch, 54s
1 c chocolate milk: 150c, 2.5fa, 9p, 25ch, 22s

=2915c, 46.5fa, 104p, 475.5ch, 204.5s

14.3% from fat, 14.3% from protein, 65% from carbs: 28% from simple carbs, 37% from complex carbs

food (now tracking calories, fat, protein, carbs and sugar)
 half a turkey sandwich: 200c, 9fa, 20p, 10ch, 1s
sugary coffee: 220c, 2fa, 7p, 18ch, 14s
cobb salad: 720c, 69fa, 58p, 51ch, 35s
1c cherries: 85c, 0fa, 1p, 22ch, 18s
3c pasta: 575c, 6fa, 24p, 106ch, 2.5s
1 c chocolate milk: 150c, 2.5fa, 9p, 25ch, 22s

=1950c, 88.5fa, 119p, 232ch, 92.5s

41% from fat, 24% from protein, 47.5% from carbs (19% from simple, 28.6% from complex)

sleep
7 hours

day 51: sense of smell

this morning, i rode in (biked) to work for the first time in...what, a week and a half? seems like longer than that. anyway. i was listening to podcasts of the splendid table and re-listened to one from about a year ago about a woman that lost her sense of smell. which equals losing her sense of taste. which equals losing the kind of smell memory that means that the scent of ink remind me of going to the printer with my mom when i was little and buying chiclets from the machine, or the kind that makes me think of saturday nights with my dad and a prairie home companion every time i smell pasta and wine together. sad. so today i'm grateful for my sense of smell, even when it makes riding by 8 billion garbage trucks a smidge unbearable.

also i'm hating myself a little for feeling pretty broke. i bought a bike, signed up for rowing (twice) and bought clothes all at the same time and now i'm suffering for it. which made buying food last night especially saddening since i still haven't gone grocery shopping. it was 10pm. i bought frozen food and some produce because i was exhausted. worth it? probably. plus burritos are an easy way to get some decent calories in your body fast. true fact.

food
1c grape juice: 160c, 0p, 0f
breakfast burrito: 250c, 9p, 5f
chicken rice thing: 350c, 17p, 2f
southwestern burrito: 300c, 12p, 6f
two peaches: 140c, 4p, 6f
coconut water: 75c, 1p, 0.5f
mushroom tortelloni: 600c, 20p, 4f
2c cherries: 170c, 2p, 6f
frozen yogurt: 720c, 28p, 0f
1 c chocolate milk: 150c, 9p, 1f

=2915c, 104p, 30.5f

exercise


(i've been googling around to figure out if this is actually a real number of calories burned and turns out it's apparently pretty close. weird. i've been underestimating by a lot, which reinforces that starvation mode thing.)

net: 1,440c

sleep: 6 hours

grateful
for biking in this morning
for being able to rest tonight

day 50: unburdened hooks

so, today is one of those days where i feel like spilling all of my woes into this webform just to put them out there. but i will spare you the drama and just say this is a day. and maybe it's because my family left today, maybe it's because i definitely didn't get enough sleep, maybe it's because it's my first day back at work after the holiday weekend? who knows.

this weekend, i pretty much stuck to my exercise schedule (okay, minus yesterday), but i didn't eat all that well. which, whatever. it was a holiday weekend.

but i know that it's time to get back on track.

i'm annoyed with myself for not going grocery shopping this weekend. i'm going to have to go out for lunch today. which i hate doing because it's a pain, it's never what i want it to be and it's usually too hot/too caloric to be good for my body.

good thing i'm not whiny or anything.

**update**

I AM IN LOVE with my heart rate monitor. seriously. look at the second exercise thing down there. awesome.

food
breakfast burrito: 610c, 27p, 3f
banana: 135c, 2p, 4f
veggie sandwich on wheat: 675c, 23.5p, 6.5f
chips: 125c, 2p, 1.5f
2 tbsp artichoke dip: 80c, 1p, 0f
honey weiss: 150c, 1p, 0f
potato/pea wrap: 250c, 8p, 4f
spinach/tofu wrpa: 270c, 10p, 6f
gelato: 260c, 5p, 2f

=2555c, 79.5p, 27f

exercise
rowing. no idea how many calories since my HRM won't come until this afternoon. um, 200? 300 tops? let's say 200.
=620c burned

net: 1935c. a little high, but not bad.

grateful
my heart rate monitor is coming today. and more importantly i had a lovely visit with my mom and bro. i'm gonna miss having them around...
it was a beautiful day and i got to spend it with wonderful people. so grateful.

day 47: omgomgomgomgomgomgomg

i officially am skinnier than i've been since sophomore year (which, by the way, was three years ago). i keep going back to the scale assuming it's a fluke. but turns out it's a REAL NUMBER.

aslkdfjl;askjdflakdfj!!!!!!!!!!

i can't believe that all i had to do was work a little less hard to earn this. i mean, keep up the exercise and just eat more. rachel (my roommate) said that to me about 20 years ago but i was skeptical. i was even skeptical when i tried it, but oh my goodness is it working for me. i'm going to have to continually adjust but holy jeez. so, turns out i actually lost two pounds this week, which is about the max for healthy/sustainable weight loss. i'm so freaking excited.

ALSO that my family is going to be here in two hours!!! whooo!!!! yay mom and brother!!!

day 46: rip van winkle

i slept somewhere around 15 hours (on and off) last night. guess i needed it?

i think i might skip the calorie counting for today. i'm planning on being outside a lot and i don't really want to commit to posting before bed. so, onward to tomorrow! and i'll try not to eat too much today.

in other news, I LOST ANOTHER POUND! whoooooo!! so we'll keep my net around 1,700 for another week or so, then drop back down to 1,500 and see which my body likes better.

so excited.

sleep
um...probably a total of 15 hours? (yikes.) 

day 45: uh oh

i got my bike fixed last night. and then we rowed an awesome race against another boat that had men (THREE OF THEM!) and two more experienced rowers (BOTH OF THEM MEN!)....so we lost. but only by a small margin!

i got home, miscalculated my calories, ate too much and fell asleep.

[THIS PART IS GROSS!]

woke up at 5:15, drank some juice, got ready to go biking, sat down, got hit by a wave of nausea and vomited out every ounce of juice/water in my body.

ew.

[GROSSNESS OVER.]

needless to say, i went back to bed and drove in instead. i think i was just hot and dehydrated and exhausted. which, that's fair. but i'm still annoyed that i didn't bike in today. i'm exhausted and pretty useless. my brain is like old celery.

i'm taking this as a sign that i should take the day off of exercise. i should probably be doing that more often, and i will as soon as i run this 10k (8 days!)...i'll give myself an easy week and then start training for a half marathon. it's gonna be great! and i'll have my new HRM.

i'll be honest. i'm half dead. and as soon as i go outside and back to my hot apartment, i might be deader. or less dead. i'm not sure yet.

food
french toast: 330c, 12p, 1.5f
ants on a log: 145c, 4p, 3f
teriyaki chicken and noodles (half): 425c, 12.5p, 3f

sleep
5.75 hours