during periods of intense stress, i usually stop eating. if the stress continues, this phase lasts for about two weeks. then, i start eating and soon i'm gorging myself on horrendous amounts of food. this is what's happened over the last month. and today i'm contemplating not eating dinner. it's 9:19pm. i don't want this cycle to start over again.
it's funny how much our bodies are affected by stress. my back hurts, despite all of the yoga, my stomach is churning even though there isn't any real imminent danger, my throat is tight and i can't release the tension in my neck and shoulders.
and though i know that i should probably go for a run tonight to release some of the stress, the other side effect that lasts all the way through the stressful months is incredible fatigue. which, somehow, doesn't actually allow me to fall asleep.
exercise usually keeps this cycle at bay, as do decent eating habits. but sometimes there's only so much you can do before life kicks you in the face.
so, to kick it back, i'm trying to practice some serious gratitude, to be thankful for all of the wonderful things that are constants and are happening in my life right now, to be grateful for the opportunities i have to change these stressful situations and to look forward to my future state of extreme happiness which, i'm sure, will come along soon.
until then, i'm going to try to not stop eating or to eat too much. and i will do the exercise thing just as soon as i am able. practicing patience with myself. that's another thing.
food
breakfast
1 oz turkey: 25c, 5p, 0f
egg: 60c, 6p, 0f
2 tbsp cheese: 55c, 3.5p, 0f
homemade english muffin (breadmaker's apprentice recipe): 214c, 9p, 1.5f
snack
soy latte: 274c, 7p, 4f
lunch
tuna casserole: 420c, 27p, 3f
snack
small banana: 90c, 1p, 3f
big apple: 115c, 1p, 5f
dinner
homemade chicken noodle: 315c, 33p, 3f
2 crackers: 45c, 1p, 0.5f
= 1613c, 93.5p, 20f
goals/actuals
1) net calories: 1500/1613
2) net protein: 93/93.5
3) net fiber: 25/20
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